UPDATE: Democrats Take Their Science from Dr. Seuss

Well, well, well, look who's here! State Rep. Jenny Willford, the genius scientist who believes that Dr. Seuss holds the key to solving our state’s emissions problem. Yes, you heard that right. Last session, she took pride in backing a bill to micromanage every tiny emission in the state, all based on the research of a children's book author. I mean, who needs real science when we have made-up words and delightful rhymes, right?

But that's not all, folks. This bill (now law) is a real gem. It's designed to kneecap businesses left and right, including both BIG POLLUTERS — the beer and donut industry. Because apparently, saving the environment means sacrificing our guilty pleasures. Thanks, Jenny!

Oh, and let's not forget the provision that tells businesses how many of their employees can commute in their own vehicles. If you exceed the limit, well, you better start dusting off your old bicycle or be prepared to walk to work. Talk about government overreach.

But hold on tight, because the real kicker comes in the form of an absurd regulation slipped in at the last minute. Without any review or input from the public, they now have the power to deny or revoke construction permits for any building modifications that might increase ozone levels. Why, you ask? Because apparently, buildings are now racist. Yes, you heard that correctly. Buildings, those inanimate objects, have suddenly become the villains in this story.

The bill's sponsors argue that this legislation is necessary because Coloradans, especially people of color and those in low-income communities, suffer from high levels of ozone pollution. They claim that smog and pollution commute all the way from Asia just to hang above the homes of people of color along the Front Range. And they say this is based on the science of Dr. Emmett Lathrop Brown. I mean, come on! Are we supposed to take this seriously?

But wait, there's more!

What would Seuss himself have to say?

Before sending the bill to the governor, those Democrats slyly schemed,

They slipped in an amendment, oh how it gleamed!

It requires a committee to think up more rules,

Page after page, they'll make us all look like fools!

Can we expect more bills, in Seussian style?

Oh, you betcha, my friend, it'll make you smile!

Get ready for a wild ride, hold on tight,

As we enter a world of regulatory might!

Put on your science hats, imaginary they may be,

For in this political realm, anything we'll see.

More regulations, more madness, oh what a thrill,

Inspired by Dr. Seuss, they'll give us a chill!

Oh, the places we'll go, in this legislative game,

With rules and laws that sound oh so lame.

But hey, in politics, it's all fair play,

So get ready for more Seussian bills next day!